Divorce papers for two please?

Sometimes I wonder why women are so afraid to walk away from their husbands when they know there is nothing left to fix. I am sad to say that, for now, my mother is one of those women. For all the emotional abuse she puts up with, she should've walked away a long time ago. There's only so much mindfucking a person can take before they lose it. I suppose my weekend enlightened me to how serious my parents' marital problems are. Walking out on him will mean that my dad will cut us all off entirely but I'm hoping someday she will fully realise that we dont want his money.

I found myself thinking wistfully about how wonderful it would be if they would just file for divorce. I know I'd stop being stuck in the middle. I know I wouldnt have to be torn when dividing my love and attention between the two of them. If they would just separate at least and live under different roofs, I know my life would be so much easier.

Its selfish to think about their marriage in that way, but its so hard and so unfair to place your child in the middle and expect him or her to navigate the waters and try to keep the peace. I owe it to one parent to help soothe her broken heart and I owe it to another to try and understand what is going on between those stormy, cold eyes.

And somehow, something tells me that walking out is the only way to put a stop to everything. Its obvious to all of us that he doesnt want her around, and if he doesnt, then I'll step in.

I'd like to believe that it will be easy to solve this problem, but I fear that there is no solution to it. I cannot help him if he wont even help himself to begin with. If only you could see my mother's silent scream for aid thats hidden quietly beneath her twinkling eyes and hearty laughter, you'd understand.

She did say that she'd know when to walk. After all, if she's walked out on her own sisters after they royally screwed her over, then she can surely leave a man that does not deserve her love.

I then started thinking if I'd had enough courage to walk if I were in her shoes....and I dont know if its a good thing that I knew the answer almost immediately without any thought. I could never put up with the treatment that my mother puts up with. And yet, the only person I have to thank for my self-respect, dignity and courage..ironically, is my mother.

Sigh.

Please dad. Serve mum with divorce papers so we can all move on.

Signed,

Your daughter.


::EDIT::

You know, sometimes you give it your all and the people around you are just so selfish to notice that my life does not revolve around you. I'm stretched out so thin, like butter scraped over too much bread (Thanks Mr Tolkien!) and yet, the only thing you can do is think about yourself. I've put myself on a limb for you. I've defended you when everyone had nothing nice to say about you. I've been here. I've always been here. You've just never bothered to notice that I actually give a damn...because the only person you are thinking of is yourself.

You take and take and you keep on taking until all I've got left is dry dust. And yet, you will never stop. Why? Because you will never learn.

*~Dont try to fix me
I'm not broken
Hello, I'm the lie
Living for you so you can hide~*