Old and new inside the same shoe

I think everyone has a "what-if" moment at some point of their life. While it is not crippling, it is infuriating, because it reveals the fact that on some level, you arent entirely satisfied with where you are currently placed.

What if I'd taken a different college opportunity?

What if I'd never let them into my life?

What if I'd been more courageous to tell my boss what I exactly I think of him?

What if I were afraid of living through my mistakes?

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I was reading through my old chat transcripts, diaries and sifting through some old things last night and I realise how much I've grown in the past eight years. Looking back, perhaps things werent as bad as I had made them out to be. But then, with age brings wisdom (or at least new knowledge and experience) and I am no longer the same person that I was eight years ago.

I threw out some old mementos and birthday cards from people I no longer speak to or people who are no longer around. Its never a good thing to hold on to the past. Rinse, leave and let go.

I was also reading through some old college assignments and written papers and I found myself laughing out loud at quite a few sentences. My style of writing in college was so pretentious! You can almost feel the excessive "confidence" seeping through the printed words and tugging gently at your eyeballs. Ridiculous really.

On a final note of a very random blog post, I need to start saving for new furniture. Any ideas on how to create a zen-filled bedroom anyone? One bedroom preferably with room for my many dog-eared and shiny-covered books.


*~I turn my head to the east,
I dont see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the west,
Still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the north,
Swallow that pill that they call pride
The old me's dead and gone
But the new me will be alright~*